what to do when you have feelings for someone

April 04, 2022 Post a Comment

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If y'all have romantic feelings for someone who doesn't experience the same, most people would suggest cut that person out of your life. But sometimes it's not so easy. Possibly you lot piece of work together, or yous're in the same classes, or you're part of the same friend group. How do y'all put aside your feelings?

one
Allow yourself to feel upset. While you may be tempted to button your feelings down and pretend they don't exist, this is merely a temporary solution. Feelings don't just "go away" if you ignore them--they come up out in other, unremarkably destructive means.^[ane] Give yourself the fourth dimension and space to express your sadness.
- Weep, punch a pillow, sit in your car and scream if you recall it will release some of the negativity.^[ii]
- Endeavour not to plough to alcohol or other substances to cope with your feelings. This may work temporarily, just it may but make things worse in the long run.
- Be careful that you don't get caught up in your sadness. At a certain point, you will have to starting time making moves to heal. If it's been weeks and you've stopped taking care of yourself (not showering, crying all the time, refusing to run across friends), then it'southward time to focus on feeling better.
two
Know that you can't force the person to return your feelings. Even if you lot call up information technology's articulate you are meant to be, the hard truth is that they don't feel the same. You can't control how someone else feels or chooses to practise with their life.^[3] You may be tempted to try and change their mind--with passionate pleas, gifts, or fifty-fifty yelling--simply you lot can't make someone experience something they don't experience.^[4]
- Keep in mind, this person is probably not trying to injure y'all. They can't brand themselves have feelings for y'all, either.^[5]
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3
Give yourself as much space as possible. If you lot tin can, have a interruption from this person for a while. This tin exist difficult to do, but is an important step to take to feel ameliorate.^{[half dozen]}You don't have to be mean or cut them out completely, only some altitude is necessary for you to put these feelings to residual.^[vii] If this person is part of your daily life (like a coworker or classmate), exercise everything you tin to minimize your contact with them. Don't sit next to them at dejeuner, don't walk with them to class.
- This also means minimizing your contact online, besides. If you can unfollow, unfriend, or at least hide this person from your social media, do then. Checking on their Facebook/Instagram/Twitter will just proceed the feelings alive.
- If the person knows you have feelings for them, tell them y'all demand some space. Ask that they respect that space so you can heal.
- Staying away from someone you really like can be difficult, but information technology's an important part of putting a finish to these feelings.
4
Think about the ways this person isn't right for you. Make a list of their negative characteristics and all the means they're non right for you. The very starting time item on that listing? They don't reciprocate your romantic feelings. For a relationship to work, both people accept to be invested.^[8] Yous deserve someone who really wants to exist with you, not someone who feels so-and so or is not really interested.
- Put whatever you want on the list, since information technology'due south but for you. Maybe they smack their lips when they eat, and that would take really bothered you lot afterward a while. Or peradventure they would chip out on your plans all the time and cause y'all a lot of pain. Write it down!
- Studies show that recognizing someone's lesser qualities can help yous get over rejection faster.^[9]
5
Don't have it personally. Rejection, especially romantic rejection, seems like the most personal thing in the world. Just much of the time, rejection has more to exercise with the person rejecting you and their issues, than you yourself.^[x]
- Don't think that because this person doesn't similar y'all, no one ever volition.^[11]
- Retrieve that anybody is rejected at some indicate in their lives. This is a universal experience, and you shouldn't feel bad about yourself because someone didn't like you lot dorsum.
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ane
Reconnect with acquaintances or make new friends. If this person is office of your chief crew or is someone with whom y'all've been very shut, it's time to aggrandize your circle of friends. Telephone call up someone you oasis't seen in a while and enquire if they desire to hang out. Or conversation with that guy yous're sort-of friends with in science class and see if he wants to grab a movie quondam.
- Focusing on this one person you take feelings for can narrow your scope: it can seem like no ane else exists or tin can brand y'all happy. Meeting new people reminds you this is not true.
- Don't isolate. You may feel like you only desire to exist left alone, and that's okay sometimes. But spending time with other people volition speed up the healing process and distract you.
ii
Enrich your life with new activities and hobbies. Keeping busy is an important step toward redirecting your focus and non thinking about your feelings for this person. Don't give yourself time to remember about it.^[12]
- Volunteer or go involved in a cause you are passionate about.
- Get to the movies, listen to upbeat music, read a skilful book, exercise, or trip the light fantastic toe.
- Outset a new creative project, like writing a story, song, or poem; depict or pigment a pic; learn a dance.
- Concentrate on your studies or work.
iii
Make sure yous're having fun. Laughter releases endorphins, which brand yous feel expert and happy. Spend fourth dimension with people who brand you express joy, doing things yous love. Go to a karaoke lounge and laugh at each other every bit you attempt to belt out popular hits. Go to an amusement park or play a sport that you love--exercise increases endorphins, also.^[xiii]
- Sentry a comedy, funny videos online, or even just search for funny blithe gifs.
- Laughter increases hurting resistance. When you experience emotional pain, it activates the aforementioned areas of your brain as physical pain.^[14] Laughing will relieve your heartache.
4
Make a listing of things y'all like about yourself. Your self-esteem can accept a major hitting after rejection, and it'southward mutual to only focus on your perceived faults. They didn't similar you lot because you are this or because you aren't that... this only worsens the pain.^[15] Focus on your positive traits, writing down your achievements, good things you've done, and things y'all really similar about yourself.
- Ask your friends and family for help if you are having trouble with your list.
- Are you generous and thoughtful? A good listener? Undecayed? Write information technology down.
- Re-read your listing oftentimes, specially when you're feeling down.
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1
Requite it time. Your feelings won't go away instantly. There will be bad days, when you lot experience low, and at that place will be days when you feel more than hopeful. Merely, as cliché as it sounds, fourth dimension heals. The intense, painful feelings you feel will go dull, and eventually fade.^[16]
- If it has been months and months and yous feel no change, you lot may need a little actress assistance.
ii

Talk to someone if you tin't let go. If yous accept tried to move on or ignore your feelings and nothing has inverse, you may need to talk to someone. Reach out to a mental health professional or a trusted friend and ask for back up. A therapist may exist able to give you more coping strategies to deal with your feelings.
3
Discover someone new. When you experience gear up, you lot can start looking for someone who is more uniform and returns your feelings. You lot don't need to rush into anything correct away--rebounding is not always a proficient idea, and can cause someone else pain if you're not up-front about it. Wait at your list of positive traits and remind yourself that you're an amazing human beingness and you deserve dearest merely like anyone else!^[17]
- When you feel better, yous won't feel anxiety or longing when you lot hear their proper name.^[18]
- You lot will remember about them less and less.^[nineteen]
- You will beginning to truly run across and understand that they were not the correct person for you.
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Watching a one-act with friends will make you feel better almost yourself.
Perhaps if you lot are finding it as well hard to suppress your feelings you should talk to someone most it (someone you trust).
Don't listen to love songs, they volition but bring dorsum your feelings.
Don't condolement consume! It won't practice yous any good in the long run!
Sentry a favorite or a cheesy picture show.
Sometimes, getting those thoughts on paper helps tremendously. Write a alphabetic character but probably don't ship it. It can be cathartic.
Talk with close friends almost your state of affairs. Also, accept fun!
Don't trust and hope too much, because that "as well much" can injure you and so much.
Continue talking to them, hang out. If they don't like you right at present, doesn't mean that they won't ever like you. They might grow some feelings after a while, you never know!
Try to make new hobbies or participate in ones you've already had; it's super fun and can help you get over your crush!

Don't expect results right abroad.
Don't test yourself by questioning if you lot did something wrong.
Don't block out your feelings, have them.
Delete the person from your contacts.

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Article Summary Ten

If you want to ignore your feelings for someone that doesn't experience the same, first give yourself the chance to experience upset, since burying your feelings may just cause them to come out in subversive ways. While y'all limited your sadness, requite yourself as much space from the person as possible so you can put them out of your listen. To do this, unfollow them on social media, and avoid calling or texting them. Besides minimizing contact with them, you lot should continue busy so you have something else to focus on. For example, reconnect with acquaintances or try out a new hobby to go on your mind occupied. To acquire how to find someone new subsequently being rejected, read on.

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